Chilivangelist

I have spent years working on my chili recipe. Years. For that reason I have never been inclined to give it away to anyone but the pure at heart. I worked hard to get it the way I like it and I felt wrong just handing out the recipe, robbing others of discovery...until now.

For whatever reason, I feel compelled to break my self-imposed vow of silence. I want to share with all walks of life the joys of this most esteemed culinary potion. For it is a potion. Chili is not just some soup of ingredients thrown together in a mish-mash fashion. Yes, Chili is a potion. For it contains the soul of the cook, the potion master. I bet Severus Snape could make a mean batch of the stuff. Ludwig Van Beethoven knew what he was saying when he proclaimed, "Only the pure at heart can make a good soup."

The ingredients must be carefully selected and be of the highest quality. Chili must not contain beans. Chili MUST contain meat: beef, bison, venison, or a combination thereof. If it is made with chicken, you lose. Pork? You live in New Mexico. You put lamb in your chili, you say? Head on back to Morocco. Should you season your dish with cinnamon and serve it over spaghetti, then get your ass back to Cleveland before you get shot. If it is made with beans and Textured Vegetable Protein then you have succeeded in making Bean Stew with Weird.

I have researched the origins of Chili. In the early days of Texas settlers, during the times of cattle drives, there is documented evidence of cowboys concocting a stew similar to our modern day Chili. When food rations became scarce an unfortunate member of the herd would be slaughtered and rationed. The cook would take some of the meat and make a stew with wild herbs and chiles. Over time tomatoes became an acceptable addition to the stew. Beans probably never made it in because they were eaten as part of the former rations. But the first mention of chili comes from the most unexpected place. This discovery caught even me by surprise.

The first historical mention of Chili can be found in the Bible. The book of Genesis:1, 25-26 states the following, "...God made wild animals, cattle, and all reptiles, each according to its kind; and he saw that it was good. Then God said, 'Before I make man I'm gonna butcher one of these here cows, dice some of that sirloin nice and fine and make a good, heapin' pot of chili for that cowboy to eat when I plunk his ass down on this here land.'" Genesis: 2, 3 goes on to say, "God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on that day he ceased from all the work he had set himself to do. God tasted his chili and proclaimed, 'Dang! That's some good chili! Now I gotta go create the bean. I think I forgot to make that one.' And God farted." So it began with Chili having a divine conception, without beans, and being the first food that man should ever eat. That settles it.

Yes, I have decided to break my silence...sort of. But it is time to spread the Gospel. Here is my recipe in pictures. You should be able to figure this out. That is, if you are pure at heart. Don't worry, I'll give you a few pointers along the way. Be sure not to rush the process. Brown the meat real good and develop a nice fond on the bottom of the pot. Cook the Chili slow so that the flavors can blend well. Make it a day ahead, if you can.

Brown the meat:

Add diced onion, diced jalapeño, and minced garlic. Continue to sauté:

Add some finely shredded corn tortilla. Sauté until the tortillas are soft:

Add some good quality brown ale. I use Bootlegger but Shiner Bock will work fine:

Top the level off with water and simmer to burn off the alcohol:

Let it simmer for a while. Then add the chile powder. Do not use a chile powder blend like Gebhardt's. Use ground dried chiles. I refill a spice jar with Aji Amarillo and Chimayo chiles. Add ground cumin, too. You are, in essence, making your own chile powder blend:
Let the Chili simmer for a while. If the liquid level gets low just add a little more water. Don't add more beer as the alcohol won't cook off and it will create an odd, unfavorable flavor:

After this has simmered for a while add 2 small or 1 large can of crushed tomatoes. I like to use canned tomatoes because they always have a good tomato flavor. Fresh tomatoes only taste good about 3 months out of the year. The rest of the year they taste like tennis balls:


Let it simmer for a good long while now. Don't rush. Kick back and have some beers or tell the kids to 'watch cartoons'. Give it a stir now and again and check the liquid level. It's okay if it cooks down some but don't let it get too thick just yet.

After about an hour or so the Chili should have thickened only slightly. This is where my recipe gets weird for some people. If you think about it, though, it makes sense. Allow me to explain. Deep in the Heart of our esteemed southern neighbor, Mexico, they make a sauce called molé (pronounced 'moe-lay'). It is a wonderful, wonderful sauce that varies by region but is primarily made with dried chiles, nuts, and unsweetened chocolate (sometimes slightly sweet chocolate). I decided to let the idea of molé play into my recipe. At this point you need to add a heaping spoonful of almond butter and a square of unsweetened chocolate. Use high quality chocolate. I have found that Baker's brand leaves a very bitter aftertaste. That is bad. I usually use Ghirardelli Unsweetened Chocolate:

The added bonus (if you are familiar with my oatmeal recipe then you know this; check the blog archives for the post) is that almond butter acts as a thickening agent. Combined with the masa from the shredded corn tortillas the almond butter helps to thicken the Chili into a divine velvety stew. The chocolate just deepens the flavor. Don't use too much chocolate as you don't want that to shine through.

We're almost done. After you have added the almond butter and chocolate add some chopped fresh oregano (about 1 Tbsp.) and salt to taste. Let the chili simmer a bit longer to let the flavors meld. Check one last time for seasoning and serve the Chili or let it cool and store it for the next day. The total cooking time is usually about 3-4 hours; low and slow.


You should taste the Chili throughout the cooking process, even without the salt added, so you can gauge the heat level and chile potency. Make adjustments as they are needed. Follow your heart and you will have a great pot of Chili. Just don't add beans. At least not to this recipe. You don't want to incur the wrath of the Lord. Now chow down. Yum.